On the Road
by Masked Man 2
Summary: When you're escaping a villain's village in the middle of a tornado with nothing but 5 people, a marten, and a dilapidated van, the trip's bound to get interesting. Based on the movie.
1. 2:00 pm- Safe

**Hello to everyone who's been so kind as to read this! This story is based entirely off of the escape scene in the movie, starting when they drive over the **_**Topeka, Kansas **_**sign. If I get any of the dialogue or imagery wrong, don't sue me or anything, because I'm doing this from memory.**

**This is more a collection of one-shots than anything else; each chapter is a different time increment with a different event. Consider yourselves warned, though; some chapters will be intentionally ridiculous. **

**I've never tried to write anything like this before, so any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Inkheart**_**, or its movie.**

**Enough of my incessant chatter! Onward to chapter 1!**

The van crunched over a piece of wood in the road; it read, "Topeka, Kansas," but nobody noticed that. Mo's eyes were fixed firmly on the road ahead, and Dustfinger and Meggie kept glancing anxiously behind them. Elinor was sitting stiffly, obviously frightened, while poor Farid was positively shaking with terror.

Suddenly, a shadow passed overhead, seeming to brush the van's top. "Mo, watch out!" Meggie screamed, and everyone ducked instinctively. Dorothy's house flew overhead, landing with a solid _THUMP_ on the other side of the escaping vehicle.

"Whoa," Farid whispered.

Mo blew out a shaky sigh and decreased his speed slightly. "How much longer until we're off this road?" he called to Dustfinger.

"Five hundred yards," the scarred man replied. "After that, we get onto the mountain trails. Capricorn's men won't dare to follow us there."

"Why not?" Meggie asked quietly, watching the surrounding trees fly by.

"State police patrol there all the time; it's the closest they'll get to the village. Capricorn won't risk his men getting caught." Dustfinger watched the road for a moment, and nodded grimly. "Speed up," he told Mo.

Mo turned around to face the man, surprise etched onto his face. "_What?_"

"There's a barrier up ahead; we've got to go through it. And to do that, you have to speed up."

"What?!" Mo exclaimed incredulously. "No, if there's a barrier, we're going around it!"

"This is a one-lane dirt road, surrounded by forest on both sides!" Dustfinger snapped. "There is no way around!"

"Then we'll stop and drag it off!"

"No, you have to go straight through!"

"What in the name of Chaucer's beard are you talking about?!" Elinor burst out, unable to keep silent. "Have you gone right out of your mind?!" Angrily, she jabbed a finger toward the windshield. The barrier, a wooden one that stood at least half the height of the van, was getting alarmingly close.

Meggie gasped when she saw it, and shut her eyes tightly. there was no way they could go through that without getting hurt. Dustfinger was insane.

Elinor seemed to feel the same way; she grabbed the collar of Dustfinger's shirt and pulled him in so they were nose-to-nose. "We can't go through that, you bloody idiot!" she cried. "We'll be smashed to bits!"

"This van was built to sustain worse damage that that!" Dustfinger replied, shoving Elinor off of him. "This is it!" he shouted to Mo. "Go!"

_**CRASH!**_

Splinters of wood flew everywhere, and Meggie screamed. Mo cursed loudly, speeding away from the broken road-block. Farid hunched over, his hands covering his ears, and Elinor began screaming at Dustfinger, but Meggie didn't hear a word her aunt said. Instead, she watched the trees, trying to get her heartbeat under control. Mo turned off the wooded road onto a winding, open mountain trail, and Meggie breathed out a sigh of relief. They were safe.

**Well, there you have it. I apologize if this is not very good. I wrote it on a bus; my band went to a music festival in Williamsburg, Virginia, and we had a 15-hour bus ride. The perfect opportunity to write a story about a road trip.**

**Please take the time to review, if you read this. Tell me what you liked, what you hated, what could be improved, and what you'd like to see in later chapters. **

**That's all from me. Bye for now!**


	2. 2:15 pm- My poor bones!

**AN: Hello, everyone! Well, after an extremely long absence due to preparation for finals and all that end-of-the-school-year stuff, I finally managed to write Chapter 2! **

**For those of you who are curious, Chapter 2 of **_**Child of Fire**_** will be coming out soon (I hope), but until then, enjoy the next stage of Mo, Meggie, Elinor, Dustfinger, Farid, and Gwin's journey!**

Elinor shifted uncomfortably on the hard, cracked seat. It _really _was pathetic; every time she moved, she could feel the pointed ends of the springs digging into her backside. _Every bloody time!_ It wasn't pleasant at all; she was about ready to commit murder if this continued for much longer.

Hoping to distract herself from her current tribulations, she cast a glance at Mortimer in the front. "So, this writer," she began crisply. "Where does he live?"

Mo shifted his gaze to her briefly. "He lives in Alassio," he replied, turning a corner smoothly.

Elinor stretched her back, wincing when it clicked. "Where is that?" she asked, pleased to note the lack of pain in her voice. _Heavens above, you should have been an actress, Elinor, _she thought. _You have a natural gift!_

"South." Mo had turned his eyes back to the road; he was watching it intently, and didn't elaborate.

"South? Can't you be more specific?" This time, Elinor couldn't quite hide the aggravation in her voice.

Mo shrugged apologetically. "Not really. The biographies on the man's books only say that much: he lives in Alassio, and it's by the sea."

"The sea?" Meggie piped up excitedly.

Mo laughed. "Yes, the sea. We won't have time for a swim, though," he added, winking at his daughter.

Elinor sniffed superciliously. "I should hope not. We would catch our deaths if we went into that water at this time of year."

"Probably not," Dustfinger spoke up abstractedly. "Well…." Then, he muttered something that Elinor couldn't catch, something that sounded like, "You might, though."

"What was that?" she asked dangerously.

"Oh, nothing."

X X X

After that, the company drove on in relative peace. Mo and Meggie talked quietly in the front, and sudden bursts of their laughter would occasionally drift back to the others. Dustfinger rested his head against the window and stared outside, while the boy Farid lay curled up beside him in apparent slumber.

Elinor watched him in envy. How she _wished _she could sleep peacefully like that! But no, these blasted seats were too damn _hard _to induce anything but pain!

"Wretched, barbaric characters," she muttered to herself. "They couldn't even be bothered to get nice vehicles! Surely they'd rather have something under their behinds that _didn't _feel like a thornbush?

"Of course not, Elinor," she added bitterly. "They're too bloody stupid to think of things like that!" As if to prove her point, the van bounced over a large pothole, sending jolts of pain through Elinor's body. "Oh," she gasped. "My poor bones!"

"Something the matter, Elinor?" Mo called, trying valiantly to hide the mirth in his voice.

"You could _try _to drive a bit more smoothly," she snapped back. "My body simply can't stand this sort of abuse!"

Mo couldn't suppress his laughter; neither could Meggie. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'll do my best, but I don't think there's much I can do to ease your pain."

"Pity, that," Dustfinger murmured, too quietly for anyone to hear.

"Hmph," Elinor snorted. With a sigh, she settled back into her seat, cursing Capricorn's men with every lurch of the van.

X X X

How long this continued, she couldn't say. In all honesty, it was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like hours to Elinor's sore bones. Thoroughly annoyed, she uttered a few choice oaths, directing them at Mo, Capricorn's goons, Dustfinger, the van, even Meggie and the boy. Nothing escaped her wrath at the moment.

In the midst of her fit of temper, however, she suddenly got the uneasy feeling of being watched. Silencing herself abruptly, she glanced around the back-seat suspiciously. Sure enough, the cursed fire-juggler was observing her with an alarming lack of discretion, his smoky blue eyes amused.

"What are you looking at?" she snapped. "You have no right to watch me!"

"Oh, don't mind me," he said quietly. "I was only listening; I wasn't watching. I would never do that to a woman."

"Really?" she asked acidly. "I doubt that. At any rate, I am completely justified in expressing my grievances in any way I please."

Dustfinger waved a casual hand. "But of course," he replied smoothly. "Carry on." That said, he leaned back again and closed his eyes. However, Elinor still felt like he was staring at her.

"Don't you have anything else to do besides listen to me curse?" she asked, perturbed.

"Ah...not really. I'm content to listen to you creak and moan like an old tree. It's quite amusing, actually."

Elinor stared at him in shock. The nerve of the man! "You wretched devil," she hissed. "How dare you speak to me like that?!"

"Hey, hey, easy back there," Mo called. "Dustfinger, I don't know what you're doing, and I don't care to know, but please leave Elinor alone. She's uncomfortable enough as it is."

"Thank you!" Elinor exclaimed, making Farid twitch in his sleep.

Dustfinger shrugged. "As you wish," he muttered, retreating back into his thoughts.

Elinor tossed her head in satisfaction, forgetting that her hair was tied back. The movement made her neck crack, and she grimaced, gasping. Immediately after, the van went over another pothole, sending another stab of pain through Elinor's joints. "Heavens above," she whispered. "My poor bones!"

**Well, there you have it. Wow, Elinor is a **_**lot **_**of fun to write….I don't know how good that was, especially the ending, which I didn't write out beforehand. Be sure to tell me what you thought in a review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Inkheart. **_**I also don't own the 2001 movie **_**A Knight's Tale.**_** The only reason I add this is because I am making a lot of references and jokes (well, 2) that involve this movie. It's great, by the way….**

**Anyway, that's all from me. Again, let me know what you liked, loved, disliked, hated, and laughed at. Reviews make me VERY HAPPY!...Bye!**


	3. 2:30 pm- Singing in the Rain

**AN: Howdy, y'all! If you can believe it, I actually updated something quickly for once. Shocking, I know. So...for those of you who have been (hopefully) waiting, here is the third installment of **_**On the Road**_**!**

**As you can probably tell from the chapter title, this little piece involves music. This is simply because my family drove down to my cousins' house for a graduation party- two hours down, two hours back. On both trips, we were playing CDs, and I was singing the whole time. The inspiration was **_**there. **_

**I'll apologize right now for any errors. It's almost midnight right now, and my fingers can't really type this late at night. So...please accept my apologies.**

**All right! Enough talk! Time for the story!**

It was uncanny. Only a minute ago, the sky had been blue, and completely cloudless. Now, rain fell hard and fast, striking the roof of the van with an erratic, drum-like rhythm.

Meggie stared out of her window, watching the patterns traced by the droplets with a trance-like fascination. There was something almost magical about this sudden storm, something that stirred her young blood and made her think of dark rivers and mythical forests.

Elinor did not seem to share her sentiments. "Oh, my giddy aunt," she muttered, eyeing the wet woods with distaste. "I do hate these little squalls. They always come up at the most inconvenient times."

"The rain should stop soon," Mo said confidently. "Storms like these are quite common in these mountainous areas. The warm air has to rise above the mountains, where it meets the cold air in the upper atmosphere. Then, the storms form, but the pressure fronts pass quickly."

"Heavens, you sound like a meteorology professor," Elinor grumbled.

Mo shrugged. "I try," he joked.

Meggie couldn't suppress a smile. Mo always did this on long trips; made jokes, spouted lessons on the things they saw, commented on the weather. It warmed her heart to see him do this now, despite the gravity of their situation.

Still, she thought, it was a bit sad, knowing that the rain would end soon. It was so _beautiful_: fierce and frenetic, yet oddly calming. It deserved to be put into song….

_Yes, _she mused. _A song for the rain. _Why not? After all, she _did _want to be a writer. Making songs just involved fitting the right words together and giving them a tune. How difficult could it be?

"Oh, rain that falls," she began softly,"Wash all the fears away. Your winds are strong...so strong and cold to me….Come gently down...and lighten my-y heart…."

"What is that, meggie?" Mo asked quietly, a soft smile on his rugged face.

Meggie stopped singing and turned to him. "Just something for the rain," she replied. "It's so beautiful, don't you think? It deserves to be sung about."

"Hmph!" Elinor snorted. "_Beautiful_ is the last thing I would call it."

Mo, however, stared hard at the wet world outside, listening intently to the dwindling patter of the rain. "Yes," he murmured. "It is beautiful. It's a sort of music in itself."

As the rain slowed to a drizzle, Meggie continued to hum her little tune. Even when the droplets ceased falling altogether and the sun came out once more, she kept up her little ode, her little song in the rain.

**AN: Well. Not quite sure how well that turned out; I hope it's alright. For reference, the song Meggie sings is sung to the tune of Celtic Legend's **_**Lyonesse**_**, which is a really beautiful song. Give it a listen.**

**On the subject of Mo's weather knowledge: I did actually research how storms and clouds form to make this explanation realistic. I also know from experience that storms can come up out of nowhere and be gone five minutes later, especially in wooded or mountainous areas. Mo might not be a meteorologist, but I definitely see him as knowledgeable enough to have little geek moments like that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own**_** Inkheart**_**; that has been established already. I also don't own**_** A Knight's Tale**_**, but if you can find the line from it, you'll get a shoutout. And, obviously, I don't own the song **_**Lyonesse**_**.**

**In other news, I want to have a little contest! Send in ideas for new adventures/mishaps/occurrences for further chapters in a review; hopefully, I'll get to feature your ideas in the story! Obviously, no one is forced to do this, but it might be fun to try.**

**Well, that's all from me. The next chapter should be up...soon, I hope. Until then, **_**ciao, amicos!**_


	4. 2:45 pm- We need a pit stop NOW

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Inkheart.**_

The earth was moving beneath him, with a rumbling, rolling speed. Farid clenched his hands into fists and squeezed his eye shut. An earthquake. He hated these hellish things, almost as much as he hated sandstorms. Any moment now, the captain of the thieves would shout at him to tie up the camels and the provisions, and the thieves would tie themselves together, and Farid would be left to the mercy of the angry ground.

When the order didn't come, though, he opened his eyes, curiosity overruling his instincts, which screamed to keep them shut. Darkness filled his vision, but it wasn't the velvet darkness of night, or the gritty darkness of a sandstorm. No, this darkness was hard, leathery, and it shifted around like some sort of animal.

Startled, Farid turned his head, surprised to find that he was lying down. For a moment, he felt disoriented, unsure of where he was, but the memories returned unbidden, like so many flies to honey. He had been in that strange castle, then in a stable full of monsters, and now he was in some sort of cart that moved without horses, with the four others he'd escaped with. Their names were so strange: Mo, Meggie, Elinor, Dustfinger. They were names that should belong to characters in a story, not flesh-and-blood people.

Farid did feel very much like he was in a story, or maybe a dream. This cart-thing, with all its metal decorations...how could something so _wonderful_ possibly exist? The man called Mo seemed to be driving it, using only a small, soft-looking wheel! Impossible! And it moved so fast...he felt like he was flying!

Then again, flying would probably be much smoother; the cart was bouncing around all over the place. Farid sighed; he would never be able to sleep now. Not like the old woman with the acid tongue, who appeared to be dozing quite peacefully.

Farid would have no such luck. Now that he was awake, he could feel an uncomfortable pressure in his gut, like he had drunk a lot of water and hadn't pissed it out. That said, he couldn't remember the last time he had _gone_...sometime last night, at least, in his own world. _Son of a snake._

Nervously, he glanced around at everyone. Mo was concentrating on the road; it wouldn't do to bother him. Besides, he was all the way in the front, and so was Meggie. Anyway, there was no way Farid would tell a _girl _about his dilemma. That definitely ruled out the gray-haired witch, which left the lean blond man beside him. He was staring out at the blurred trees they passed, his eyes distant and lost. He hadn't even seemed to notice Farid's head, which had been resting against his leg.

Something about the man frightened Farid, but he was intrigued, too, if he was honest with himself. That wouldn't make talking to him easier...but his body couldn't wait.

"Dustfinger?" he whispered, tugging on the ragged sleeve of the man's long coat.

The man jumped when Farid spoke, and pulled away from him roughly. "What?" he asked, a slight tint of irritation in his husky voice.

Farid felt himself go red as he stared at his feet. "Um...I...I have to...um…."

Luckily, Dustfinger seemed to understand. "I'm not surprised. Silvertongue!" he said to Mo. "The boy needs to, ah, relieve himself, so…."

"The nearest rest stop isn't for another three hours or so," Mo replied. "Farid, how badly do you need to go?"

"Uh…." Farid paused, considering. The pressure in his bladder was steadily growing, almost to the point of being unbearable. "I can't really hold it."

In the front, Meggie suddenly flushed pink. "Mo, I...I need to go, too," she said softly. "Sorry."

Mo whistled, running a hand through his dark hair. "Well. This could be a problem." He sighed then, turning to look at Farid. "You really can't hold it at all?"

Farid shook his head miserably.

"Look, just pull over," Dustfinger suggested. "If they need to go that badly, they can do it in the bushes-"

"No way!" Meggie exclaimed.

"You can wait, princess, if it makes you feel better," the scarred man snapped. "But the boy can't. Do you want him to piss himself?"

"That is absolutely disgusting!" Elinor cried, choosing possibly the worst time to wake up. "Have you no decency whatsoever?"

Dustfinger just shrugged.

"Of course not," Elinor sniffed. "Silly me; I don't know what I was thinking!"

"But he's right!" Farid hissed. He was starting to get desperate. "Please, I'll go in the bushes, but-"

"Alright," Mo said gently. "That's perfectly fine, Farid."

X X X

Mo slowed the vehicle to a stop at the side of the road, beside a cluster of elderberry bushes. Farid wasted no time; he bolted out the door as fast as he could. After a moment, Meggie followed him.

"I'll wait until you're done," she told him. Seemingly embarrassed about the situation, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Farid stared, fascinated, at the golden strand, but then he shook himself. "Thanks," he replied, feeling his face get hot again.

Quickly, he ducked behind the bushes, avoiding Meggie's eyes. Resolving not to give her (and her beautiful hair) another thought, he pulled off his short trousers and went, sighing gratefully when the burning pressure in his abdomen ceased. When he finished, he left the grove and turned his back, trying desperately not to picture Meggie's bare legs as she did her business.

**AN: I felt like I'd been neglecting Farid a bit, so I gave him his own chapter. Hope you all enjoyed his POV, as well as that little interlude of romance! Honestly, though, that ending was...**_**really**_** unexpected.**

**Please remember to review!**


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